[1.18] Myth and legend from the TI Discussion Groups
"The duty of Old Timers: Since there is
no known archive of these discussion
groups, there ought to be a written history."
- oark
"Alright, you asked for it. Just keep in mind
that early written histories spent generations
as oral histories before someone wrote them
down, and thus they became exaggerated,
even mythical in nature."
- Ray Kremer
These posts are mostly from the TI Off Topic discussion group. The intent is humorous, although just
how much may depend on your familiarity with obscure events and running jokes. I decided to archive
them here, because posts are not kept for long on the discussion groups and TI does not make
archives available to us.
Ray Kremer keeps a collection of these legends at http://tifaq.calc.org/legends/.
The TI-liad
by Ray "Homer he ain't" Kremer [2:06, 12/19/01]
Many moons ago, in the land of Suggestions, somebody started a thread entitled "How's the weather?"
and great multitudes responded in answer to the question. And the great creator Paul King looked
down from Mount Texas and he found it humorous, and he created a new land and called it "How's the
Weather?" And Paul King said to the peoples of the world, "This new land is an experiment, and it may
last for a long time or for only a short time."
The sage Ray Kremer saw the new land, and he said to the people, "There has been much Off
Topicing in the land of 89 and 92+, and it has crowded out the 89ing and the 92+ing. But look! Here is
a new and fertile land in which we can Off Topic to our hearts' desire!" The people agreed with the
sage, and many came to the new land and there was much joyous Off Topicing.
The evil demoness Laquisha Bonita from the underground realm of the Trolls saw the people frolicking
in the new land, and grew jealous of their happiness, and she came to the new land and rebuked Paul
King for creating it with her blashphemous cries of "Oh no you don't!". And the peoples fought against
the demoness, and told her "Nay, this is a good land, and we praise the great Paul King for creating it."
But Laquisha used her satanic ghetto-speak and met all arguments with threats of bodily harm, and
spent much time telling how she would stomp on all our heads.
Soon many of the people tired of fighting against Laquisha, but the valiant knight Captain Ginyu vowed
to continue the battle until the end. And great flames arose from the war between Laquisha and Ginyu,
and they spread across the land and spoiled it. Then Paul King once again looked down from Mount
Texas, and he saw that the new land he created was spoiled by the great war, and he saw that jokes
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