But the empire of TI did not slumber, and the minions toiled, and toiled some more, and little by little
built a leviathan after their own hearts. And the name of this leviathan was 92, with eye bigger than
48SX, and brain faster than 48SX, and memory deeper than 48SX, and knowledge broader than 48SX.
And thus it came to pass that 92 was a worthy adversary to 48SX, and begat his progeny 89, who was
much the same but could ride in a really big pocket instead of a small chipcart.
And thus began the golden age of the calculating beasts, who could and would even do battle with the
lumbering behemoths of the Peasea empire. But still did jihad rage most violent with the subjects of the
HP and TI empires, tearing brother from brother and sister from sister in sworn allegiance to the
empires. But the HP emperors slumbered on, and on, and could not be roused by the clamor and cries
of the HP subjects.
But in the deserts of Oz, the HP emperors did rouse themselves, one more time, just barely enough to
summon noble wizards and clever sorcerers and true believers, who toiled mightily in the caves of
Ayceeoh, and did mighty battle with the HP marketing witches, who now wielded all great power in the
HP empire. And they did prevail, and the new HP king, 49G, was born, and at first his subjects rejoiced
and danced in the newgroups, and verily, thumbed thier noses at the TI subjects in a most insulting
manner. But the new king was much as the old king, in bright shiny dress, albeit with deeper memory
and broader knowledge. And the HP subjects were thrown into turmoil and confusion, and some fought
one against another as thier consciences ordered, and some defected to the TI empire, and some
defected all empires to wander in alone the wilderness.
But the HP emperors would not have commerce with the teachers of apprentices, and were in fact
aloof to them and snubbed them. And the HP wizards were slow to share all secrets of the new king, at
length in massive tomes, and indeed said only 'read the tomes of the old king.' And thus the teachers
did not hail the new king 49G one tiny bit, and many loyal HP subjects shunned the new king, and he
languished in disgrace and ingominy, for verily his buttons required the strength of ten stout men to get
his attention. And thus the new HP queen Carly of Fiorina and her marketing witches wailed and
lamented, and to thier eternal shame and disgrace, they cast out forever the noble wizards and clever
sorcerors who begat the new king.
And thus ended the golden age of the calculating beasts, not with a bang, but with a whimper.
But still the jihad rages on, though the emperors themselves now heed it not, and consider the jihad as
the tiresome buzzing of insects in the thunderstorm. And the subjects of the empires see not that they
are truly of one calling, greater than TI or HP, and thus they rail at each other and not at the true foe,
and weaken themselves and bring on their own anguish and ruin.
So ends the legend.
The Battlefields of the Great War
Translated by Ray Kremer
And it took place that during the Golden Age, one of the fronts of the great jihad was the land of 89 and
92+ in the Realm of the discussion groups. It was mostly peaceful there, but often a new soldier would
approach the land and ask which army he should choose to fight in. And this would stir the warriors of
the jihad into battle once more, and the battles would last until the warriors were using the whip on their
deceased horses.
The peoples were sorrowful at dwelling in the war ravaged land, and they cried out to the great creator
Paul King to provide another battlefield in order to save the land of 89 and 92+ from harm. And Paul
King from atop Mount Texas answered the prayers of the people and created the land of comparisons.
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