all must serve. And one day he spoke the runes and cast the bones, and the lightening lit the night
skies, and the thunder rolled without end, and Ray of Kremer cried "Behold! From the void, I have
created the new land of OffTopic for you, my brothers and sisters. Rejoice and be glad, but bloody well
behave yourselves this time!"
And though this new bright land be not on the maps of middle earth, and be not listed in the rolls of the
Server, it does be, none the less. And King Paul, darkest and most powerful lord of the Server, said
"Oh, all RIGHT!" (or something like that). And the faithful and penitent journeyed and pilgrammaged to
this promised land, though it be distant and inaccessible. And as with one voice, they cried "Hail, Ray
of Kremer, for he has made our new home!" And Ray of Kremer gazed upon them, and said, one more
time, "Read this:" And they were glad and rejoiced.
And so it came to pass that one day, a vision appeared on the plains, and the vision was the goddess
High-D, with visage terrible and beautiful, and the brothers and sisters were afraid, and fell prostrate
and quaked. But she said to them "Rise, and be not afraid! For though you are innocent and work and
play and post in your land of OffTopic, the dark lords of the Server are ever watchful with their baleful
One Eye, and their vengeance is swift and without mercy. So play nice! :)"
So ends the reading.
And here's a bit about another historical event some of you may remember:
"And it would often come to pass that the mild and abiding ways of the people were often disturbed and
cast asunder by the trolls, spammers and twits, especially in the deep nights of the days of rest. And
their posts would be foul, and profane, and certainly off-topic, and they reveled and cavorted in an orgy
of wanton abandon. And their obscene destruction did deeply offend the good people, even such that
some of good will did weaken and take part, though they regretted it much.
"And in the deepest, darkest hour of night, the DG was all waste, and there was naught but nonsense.
And one of the common people, with no name, watched, and became angry, and cold, and said 'this is
my home; I will not surrender it to these base cowards'. And he loosed the flood, and it rolled over the
DG, and one by one the posts of the debasers were dispatched to the void, and though the debasers
were legion and fought back with evil, he persevered wordlessly against their attacks, and he was
victorious.
"And the debasers returned not for those days of rest, and the good people ventured back, and they
asked 'who among us has made this flood, and for good or ill?', but he was silent."
So ends the reading.
Legend of the great war
by Doug Burkett [15:09, 12/21/01]
In the dark times before IC, the common people did toil under the burden of calculating diverse sums,
and products, and roots and special functions. And some did have the magick rules that slid, and they
did toil less, and some fewer did have the noisome Friden, or Marchant, or Monroe, and some fewer
still could petition the keepers of the big iron, who would mostly laugh and spit at them, unless they
could show great wealth or a student ID.
And so the common people were without champion, until emperor Kilby, of the TI empire, had mercy
and decreed to his slaving minions, that there would be a pocket calculator. And the minions were
confused, and they said "a tiny mathematician?", for in those days a calculator was one who
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